Hopelessly, Helplessly
by StOnE CoLd SaRaH
Summary: Lita thinks about her ex-friend and why he's such a jerk. Tis a song fic with a Train song (and also the title) and thats about it. Tis my first time with this pairing, so be kind and review!


Title: hopelessly, helplessly   
  
Author: StOnE CoLd SaRaH (or just Sarah)  
  
E-mail: stealindasun7800@aol.com  
  
Category: WWF  
  
Disclaimer: I own no one. Could you imagine how much fun I would have if I own the WWF?! Woooo! Sadly, Vince and his scary lawyers do. Also the song "Hopeless" is owned by Train. I saw them live and they are a very nice band. But, I really don't want to be sued by them either. I have no money and I'm only doing this for semi-fun (damn muses) so please don't sue!!!   
  
Distribution: If you ask, I'll give.  
  
Rating: PG-13 (for my drunken sailor language)  
  
Spoilers: When Jericho stops being a jerk. It's not really a spoiler for anything.   
  
Summary: Lita has feelings for someone! And it's semi in song. Lance Storm, Christian, Jeff Hardy, Edge, and that *someone* all make appearances. And Matt does at the end too.   
  
Notes: I read a good Lance Storm and Lita ficcy on FF.net.... I wish I could remember who wrote it... *shrugs* So, I made Lita and Lance semi-friends. I also have been using the word, 'semi' a lot. Sorry. Also this is my first Lita and 'that someone' fic. Please be kind because I don't think I like how I ended this ficcy.... Anyway, on with the story!  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why  
Everything gotta change around me  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I watch him on the TV. What a dick he has become lately. Maybe it hasn't even been lately. Jeffie and Matt say that I like to pretend hurtful things aren't happening in front of my face (something I learned to do when I was with Essa. I go to my own 'special' place when things get a little to rough for me) I know I shouldn't still have any sort of feelings for him, yet there they are. Smacking me in the face. I feel so hopeless I know that he's wrong for me. And I know that a lot more lately. Ever since he got those stupid ass belts. Everything has changed because of him.   
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
I'd tell it to your face  
But you lost your face along the way  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
I guess maybe I should talk to him. But, I'm afraid. What if he doesn't register that it's me? His ex-best friend? The girl who secretly loved him? Would he be able to see it? My grandmother swore by an old Mexican way of telling if someone was telling you the truth. If they look you in the face when they were talking to you, that's how you knew. Also if there was a special spark in their eyes. I've looked at him. At his new face and I'm so scared because the face that I've known of his. Its gone. He's eyes are sunk further back. They don't have that same shine that they used to. When he makes fun of people, he used to have a glint in his eyes and a smirk, and now he has nothing. He seems to have lost that old Chris Jericho.  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*And I'd say it on the phone  
If I thought you were alone  
Why do things have to change?   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Maybe I should call him on the phone, since I can't look at him anymore. But, what if he's not alone? And he starts to call me some hurtful names? I wouldn't be able to take it. I know I wouldn't. What happened to us? Back in the day it was the six of us. Matt, Jeff, Christian, Edge, me, and him. Now, Christian and Matt are gone. Jeff is always here for me. I know that and I love him for that. And Edge would always protect me. He used to call me 'Red' but I made him stop. Because Jericho used to call me that too. And now he's gone. Why did everything have to change like this? Why couldn't we all stay together?  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*But you don't need my pictures on your wall  
You say you need no one  
And you don't need my secret midnight call  
I guess you need no one  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
I just saw him in the hallway. What a bastard. He was showing off to Lance Storm. Lance is a pretty nice guy by himself, but Jericho was talking loudly to Lance so I would hear. He told Lance about how he used to hang out with 'losers' but then he took down all those losers pictures and put up pictures of himself. Lance just rolled his eyes and gave me a grin that said he was sorry I had to hear that. I just nodded at him and walked up behind him and said, "Well, Jericho... I thought you took pictures of losers down? Then why'd you put a picture of yourself up?" and he stood flabbergasted that I had heard him. He stuttered for a little bit before he took control of the conversation again. "At least I don't have any of those Diva pictures of *you* up! I have better taste then that!" And that bastard grinned at me. I could feel tears well up in my eyes as I told him point blank, "That hurt Christopher. That hurt." And I left before I openly cried in front of that bastard.   
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Is anybody waiting at home for you?  
Cause it's time that will tell if it's heaven if it's hell or if it's  
Anybody waiting at home for you  
Cause it's time that will tell this tale   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
I start to cry because he really did hurt me. Bad. Only Jeff would understand why. Edge would probably give me one of his 'looks.' Jeff can understand that when Edge and Christian left me, that it was Jericho who was there for me. And now that Edge is back, I still can't find the words to explain it to him. Edge tries so hard to make me feel good, but everything has been turned backwards in my life and losing Jericho hurts worst then anything I've ever felt.   
  
Lance walks into the room as I'm still crying. "Ever heard of knocking?" I say wiping my tears on the sleeve of my shirt.   
  
"I've heard of it, I just tend not to use it too much," he says with his typical dry humor as he sits on the bench next to me. I look down at the ground at my feet so I don't have to look him in the eyes. "He doesn't mean shit like that you know."   
  
I look him in the eyes and try to see if he was sent in by anyone to fed me garbage. I don't see any sort of misleading in his eyes. I just shrug. He sighs and then uses his fingers to lift my chin. "No, honestly. He tries to act like he's all big and everything, but he has been feeling really insecure lately. And I think it has something to do with you."   
  
He uses his thumb to wipe some tears off my face. I sigh and feel like I'm going to cry again.   
  
Lance pulls me into a hug and I lean into him. "Why would it have something to do with me? I'm no one special. I'm just his ex-best friend. What more I'm I to him? Nothing!"   
  
Lance sighs and then whispers into my ear, "If I tell you this, you have to promise not to tell anyone else... All right?" I silently nod.   
  
"Well, ever since you came back from the little break that Vince gave you," He stops to see how I am at him mentioning Matt and when he sees that I'm not going to cry over that jerk anymore, he continues; "Jericho has been acting very weird. He seems to be even more obsessed with those belts. And anytime you or Jeff or anyone else is mentioned, he gets a far away look in his eyes and then stops up ever side conversation we might be having just so he could talk some more about how much he's a great champ and all that trash. But, even Christian has noticed it and we've been talking about it. Now I don't know how well you and Christian used to get along, but from what I gather you guys once had a really good relationship. Especially you and Jericho. So, Christian's come up with an idea that Jericho still hasn't gotten over any sort of quirky little crush he's had on you and the way he shows it is by that childish display of emotion that just happened in the hallway. After you left, he looked very angry with himself. And I've known him long enough to know when he's mad and when he's mad because he did something wrong, but won't own up to it. And that was one of those times."   
  
I just sigh again. "Maybe you're right. Maybe. But, how do I know if any of this is true? I mean, I don't doubt you. And I semi-trust Christian. But, how do I know these little things you say you see are really there? How do I know that any sort of love that I have for him is shared? I really did love him, Lance. I don't know if you can understand, since you came as all of our friendships were breaking apart. But, there was a time when we were all friends and I was everyone's kid sister. And then Matt's feelings came to the surface and even though Chris was the one I really felt anything for out of the group of those guys, I still went out and dated Matt. How do I know all these feelings I have for him, are the same feelings I used to have? Before he changed? Before I changed?"   
  
Lance just sighs. "I don't know. Honestly I don't. If I did I would tell you, believe me Lita." I smile at him, "Oh I do believe you. Don't worry."   
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*You're in and out up and down  
Wonder if you're lost or found  
But I got my hands on you  
Are you strong enough to tow the line?~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
"I still do." A voice calls out from the dark of the locker room. I feel Lance stiffen and I look up to see Jericho looking at me.   
  
"I should go," Lance says and hugs me once more for good luck. And I think I might need it.   
  
"Can I sit down?" Chris asks walking out of the shadows and I see he has bags under his eyes and looks worst then when I left him.   
  
"Sure? Why not, Mr. Undisputed Champion. The world does revolve around you, remember?" He physically flinches at that and even though I feel a little sorry for the remark, I remind myself that it is pay back for earlier tonight.   
  
"Red... Listen. I heard everything..."   
  
"That is called stalking as well as harassment and last I heard, both were illegal."  
  
"Red, this is kind of hard for me..."  
  
"You mean like the last couple of months haven't been hard for me? Losing Matt and then you? Yeah, it's been a walk in the park for me!" I feel like I'm going to burst into tears, but I've done that enough over him. I'm not going to anymore.   
  
"All right I deserved that." I want to say Damn right you do, but I hold my tongue. "Listen Red, do you want to know why I did it? Why I had to get away from you?" I sigh and then nod my head.  
  
"It because I saw what Matt was doing to you. It wasn't on the scale of a full Essa Rios beating, but it was getting there. And I knew that I couldn't do anything to try to stop that. Matt wouldn't listen to me and I knew Jeff was at his breaking point when it came to Matt hurting you. But, I couldn't just stay and watch you get hurt. And I also couldn't get involved.   
  
So when Vince came to me and told me about how he thought I deserved a chance at not just the championship, but the undisputed championship, I jumped at the chance. Because I knew I couldn't watch you get hurt anymore. And I know now it was very selfish of me. Especially since I didn't tell any of my friends what I was doing. And I especially didn't tell you because I have always held you in higher regards then my typical friends.   
  
You are a female version of me. You can hold your own when I wisecrack. You are tougher then any female I know, and yet you still are a female all in your own. You know a hell of a lot of my secrets that I wouldn't want to get around, and I know a lot of yours. I know all about you problems in the past. All your lows and all of your ups. You were my best friend and I always wanted it to be more. I heard what you said about not really being 'into' being with Matt and all I could think was that's exactly how I felt about you. I love you Lita. Even though I've been an abrasive asshole, do you think you'll let me show you that I'm still that regular old Jericho?"  
  
I think about it for a couple of seconds, "Do you honestly mean it, Chris?"  
  
He doesn't say anything.   
  
"See! I knew it was a tri--" I'm cut off as he leans over to kiss me on my lips. He breaks away and says, "I was quiet because it's been so long since you called me Chris. I was momentary at a lost for words!"  
  
"Now, that is a mini-miracle. Why do I doubt that Jerky?" I say as I smile at him. He grins at me and starts to tickle my stomach, which is my notorious weak spot. In a minute I'm on the floor laughing my brains off trying to get him off me.   
  
"Just like old times? I've got my hands *all* over you!" I playfully smack him on the arm,   
  
"Play fair Jerky!" and then I start to giggle again.   
  
"I miss you Red."   
  
"I miss you too."  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Is anybody waiting at home for you  
Cause it's time that will tell if it's heaven if it's hell or if it's  
Anybody waiting at home for you  
Cause it's time that will tell this tale   
  
I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why  
Everything gotta change  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
That was over a week ago.   
  
Edge walked in on Jericho sitting on top of me, tickling the hell out of me and he almost strangled Jericho. But, once I explained everything to him, he was much cooler headed. He only punched Jericho in the face. When Jericho woke up he commented, "I guess I needed that, huh?" By the time Jericho had woken up, I had re-explained to Edge that 'no Jericho was not trying to kill me' and that 'no Jericho had not polluted my mind with any sort of drugs.'   
  
I think I have over protective guy friends.   
  
Jeff at least was better. He didn't beat Jericho up when I walked into the room with Chris on my arm. Jeff just looked at me and saw how big my smile was and he knew that Jericho was better. Of course, he told me this later after Chris had left. While Chris was there Jeff was perfectly quiet and would not talk unless spoken too. And that is very odd for the normally hyperactive Jeff to do.   
  
Lance has been coming by to see how I've been holding up and he is a really good friend. Edge and Jeff seem to like him and have no problems with him.   
  
And then there is Christian. He smiles and nods to me in the hallway, but he won't join us   
in the room doing the show. Which is totally understandable, since Edge and Christian have some work to do in mending their relationship and I have no reason to get myself involved.   
  
They need to do it on their own.   
  
  
"Is anybody waiting at home for you Lita?" I look up from lacing my shoes to see Matt Hardy looking at me. I gasp and then realize that he's supposed to be back and I'm supposed to be back on a team with him. Oh, joy.   
  
"Yes, Matt. There is." I say glaring at him.   
  
"Oh! I didn't mean it like that Li! I meant.... Oh.... Listen, it's been a long time. I know this whole working together will be difficult," I roll my eyes. "And I know what has been going on since I left, Jeff has been clueing me in."   
  
I'm about to comment when the words hit me.   
  
"Wait? Jeff? He's been talking to you?" Matt nods. "You're right Matt. Only time will tell if it's going to be heaven for us of hell. But, for now, let's just be friends again. None of this whole 'love' stuff getting in the way..."   
  
I put my hand out and he shakes it.   
  
"Deal. You know, I felt helpless and hopeless without you. At first I thought it was because I missed you as Lita, my girlfriend. But, then I realized that no, it was Lita my friend. Come on, let's go get ready, and you can tell me *all* the juicy details about you and Jericho...."   
  
Sometimes, everything doesn't have to change for the worst. And sometimes, it can change for the best.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The End 


End file.
